This season was a long, long time in the making. CBPFFL
crowned its first champion in 1993, and now, twenty years later, the trophy
that bears your name is finally yours. Today, Optimus Prime reigns supreme!
Congratulations, you built an excellent team. You grabbed
Peyton in a record setting year, complemented him well, and threw in a healthy
dose of “KC D baby.”
The entire season was one of pure destiny. I particularly
liked the move of bringing your brother on board, in order to crush his puny
team by over 600 points. What style!
You stood on the throats of the vanquished and cruised to
victory by a margin of 133 points over Jason’s bid to repeat as champion. Well
done, sir. Enjoy the jelly beans.
Now for the sad part…
It’s time that the rest of us let you in on a little secret.
The trophy, the whole league, everything, was only created as a way for us to frustrate
and humiliate you.
Years ago, huddled in the undercarriage of Landon, we got
bored one day and concocted a fiendish plan: a way to force you into a
Christian Okoye obsession, trick you into picking up Mel Grey, and beat you
relentlessly, year after year.
You might call us mean jerks, but we just like beating you in Fantasy Football. And it was a
nice, two decade party. So, thanks for that.
We all agreed to play until the day, far in the future, when
you actually managed to finally win, and then immediately disband the league.
And so, this season marks the end of the CBPFFL, friend. The
trophy shall be buried with you, and rest with you among choirs of angels for
all eternity.
Take care,
The Commish
